Understanding the Cycle of Violence

Acute Explosion

Batterer

• Hitting
• Choking
• Humiliating
• Imprisonment
• Rape
• Using Weapons
• Verbal Abuse
• Destroys Property

Victim

• Protects Self
• Police called
• Tries to calm batterer
• Tries to reason
• Fight back
• Leaves

Honeymoon

Batterer

• Promises to get help/Begs forgiveness
• Enlists Family’s Support
• Wants to make love
• Declares love
• Cries

Victim

• Agrees to stay
• Returns or takes back batterer
• Attempts to stop legal preceedings
• Sets up counseling for batterer
• Feels happy/hopeful

Tension Buildling

Batterer

• Moody
• Nitpicking
• Put-downs
• Yelling
• Drinking/Drugs
• Threatening
• Withdraws Affection
• Criticizes
• Sullen

Victim

• Nurturing
• Stays away from family & friends
• Keeps children quiet
• Agrees
• Tries to reason
• Cooks partner’s favorite dinner
• Feeling of walking on eggshells
• Attempts to soothe partner

What sustains the cycle of violence?

• Learned behavior
• Economic dependence
• Low self esteem
• Keeping the family together
• Self blame
• Traditional value system
• Isolation
• Emotional dependence
• Promises to change